Consider the context

As all considerate people know, if a server or clerk or anyone you have contact with acts rudely, we should keep in mind that we don’t know their circumstances or what stress or suffering they may be dealing with and give them a little grace. I know how curt I can be with even those closest to me if I’m in a disturbed state.

So, “we don’t know what we don’t know” seems to me a good guiding principle when we’re tempted to judge another’s behavior. This applies not only to personal interactions but also to the actions of those in the public eye.

The recent dust-up between Ukrainian president Zelenskyy and President Trump and VP Vance is a case in point. If you only watched the last 10 minutes or so when things got really heated, you’d likely come away thinking Trump and Vance were the ones being disrespectful. That was my initial reaction.

But when you take the time to look further and consider the circumstances that led up to the confrontation, you see it differently.

According to Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and others, Zelenskyy was duplicitous and demanding in the days leading up to the Oval Office meeting when US officials met with him overseas. They indicated he was ready to sign a deal then backed off and insisted on coming to the US to sign. While here he resisted the notion that diplomacy would work, made comments that threatened the very possibility of a peace deal, and so frustrated Trump and company after all the work they’d done to try and bring an end to the war that their frustration hit a tipping point.

Add to this reports of tyrannical behavior and money laundering by the Ukrainian government and Zelenskyy’s apparent desire to continue prolonging the war with more American tax dollars, more soldier and citizen deaths, and more destruction of his country rather than concede anything to Russia, and you get quite a different image of the Ukrainian president and his meeting with Trump.

All this to say, when judging seemingly unseemly behavior of individuals high and low, considerate people make an effort to consider the context.