Browns extremely need a makeover
I’m a Cleveland Browns fan. Raised in northeast Ohio, you almost can’t help it…no matter how badly they do. Browns fans are diehard and desperate. We hang on and we hope.
So this year they got off to a really great start in the preseason. But a two-game winning streak is about as long as they get around here, and last night they lost pretty badly to the Philadelphia Eagles. Now, it’s one game and the regular season hasn’t even begun. But around here though we hope, we have history. And that gets us wondering, as it does every year, what’s it gonna’ take to break the seeming curse that Cleveland sports teams have?
Well, I don’t know about the hapless Indians or the kingless Cavs, but I think I have the solution to the yearly dance with disappointment the Cleveland Browns continue to put us through. It’s not their fault…it’s the name.
Brown is dull, brown is mousy. “Brownies” are little girls in dull, mousy uniforms selling cookies. Or skinny, little, do-nothing elves. There is nothing fearsome or threatening about brown.
But Patriots are freedom fighters! Steelers are down and dirty working men’s men. Bengals are fierce; Vikings are burly; Colts are wild! Browns are…..what is a Brown? I know they were named for Paul Brown, but whose idea was that anyway? It was not a good one.
Look what happened to the old Browns after they moved to Baltimore and became the roadkill-eating RAVENS. A few short years later, to the dismay of all the Art Modell haters here, they win the Super Bowl!
Everyone acknowledges the psychological factor in winning, hence the desire for home field advantage. Confidence is key; how the players view themselves can make all the difference between a winning and losing season. What our guys need is a total makeover….new name, new colors…new attitude.
How about the Cleveland Piranhas? Or the Cleveland Pit Bulls? Or, no….I got it….the Cleveland Bulldogs! It’s perfect. We already have the Dawg Pound, and the Dawg people. And bulldogs are tough and mean and territorial…at least that’s their image. And we desperately need a new, tough, strong, fighting image.
So, this has nothing to do with “life through the lens of biblical Christianity.” Unless you consider that in the Bible names mean something, and sometimes they are a genuine indication of things to come. Like Abraham, Jacob, and Jesus. Look it up.
Maybe a new owner and new players will make the difference. But I think the Browns need more than that. They need a full body peel, a maximum metamorphosis, an extreme makeover.
Whaddya’ think? Who’s with me?
I could not disagree more. I enjoy reading your other, well thought out and well reasoned blog posts, but this post comes out of an “all is lost let’s blow it all up” type reaction to an essentially meaningless preseason game. I, too, saw the game and was less than pleased. Silly penalties, and a weak performance by the offensive line.
An interesting thing to note about this game, is that in two weeks, the Browns will face the Eagles again for the regular season opener. In a typical week 3 preseason game, it is customary for a team to play their starters for an extended period of the game. Not a series, not a quarter, at least the first half or more, and run through a majority of their playbook. Because these two will see each other in such a short turn around in the regular season, they’re keeping their cards close to the chest. The Browns don’t want most of their repertoire on film for the Eagles to study, and vice versa.
Conversely, all of Cleveland’s poor play and decision making was caught on film for the coaching staff to use as a tool to correct. Make the mistakes now during the preseason so you can use the experience; a live game experience, to get better. I say the more the better during the preseason. It’s embarrassing enough losing the way they did on Friday, but it’s all one giant mulligan, a bad dream that the team can wake up from and start fresh the following week with no scarlet letter “L” tarnishing their regular season record, the record that actually counts.
Now, to your point that the Browns need a makeover. I would like to draw your attention to exhibit A. The Green Bay Packers, with their John Deere themed uniforms and super original “G” on the helmet! What’s a Packer?! Turns out, in the early days of the franchise, the team received money for uniforms from the Indian Packing Company, under the condition that they be named after their sponsor. Ta-da! The Packers. What a lame name. What lame colors.
Green Bay has 13 league championships, the most in the NFL. They’ve made 27 playoff appearances. The Packers QB, Aaron Rodgers, is arguably the best QB in the league, and bears a striking resemblance to your eldest son (so I’ve been told on several, separate occasions).
With a tradition just as deep and rich as our Cleveland Browns, the Packers seem to be doing something right, regardless of their less than ferocious name or lack of bold colors. However, green and yellow is pretty classic, and I would say the same about orange and brown. To overhaul the teams colors and brand would start a riot that would burn the city of Cleveland to the ground. If the Cuyahoga catching fire didn’t do it in 1979, this would for sure.
What the real issue is, is too soon to guess, but it’s not the name or colors. Let’s let the season play out and have this conversation in January. Unless, the Browns are still playing football in February, then we won’t have the need to 🙂
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Thanks for your comment, sir. You seem quite knowledgeable about football. But though I understand the impracticality of changing the name, colors, etc., I still believe it would have a positive effect.
And Packers….yes, brings to mind meat packers. Haven’t you ever seen “Rocky”? A much tougher name than Browns.
Yes, I know last night’s game doesn’t really mean anything. And the Cleveland Browns have been a formidable team in the past. But it’s been so long since we’ve had a really strong season, and much longer still since we’ve made it to the big show. Desperate times call for desperate measures 🙂
I’m glad you’re reading my posts….son. And thanks for your approving comments. You do resemble Aaron Rodgers…as well as certain male soap stars. Or so I’ve heard. 🙂
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